Chapter 44: The boy’s feeling.

ED: DeathDrayanD

Flan 8
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Chapter 44: The boy’s feelings.



When my consciousness started to fade, I had a dream.

It was a memory of my past life. I will experience what I’ve done again, in the form of a dream.

The house where I was born has always produced excellent people.

Exercise, science, medicine, politics, economics, education, archeology…

Anyway, a house that has always sent people to the top.

That is Kuon’s family.

Kuon’s family is moving the world.

Recognition in the world. It is the world.

That’s where I lived.

And Kuon was a house that did not accept anything other than “excellent”.

There are only two things that are ‘excellent’ or ‘unusable’.
It was only those ‘excellent’ ones that are being recognized as human beings; the others were not.

And I am a member of Kuon’s family, a human being never called ‘excellent’.
Whether you are ‘excellent’ or ‘unusable’, the family will still allow you to live normally when you are still a child.

It’s not that I’m bad at anything, actually I’m quite good at it, but of course, I’m not ‘excellent’ at anything.

I was like that. If there is something that is superior, that was my robust body in the Kuon family who are all merely consanguineous marriage and have a weak constitution.

Move your body, sit down and learn.

There is no excess and deficiency in anything.

It was early for my parents to give up on such a child like me.

That last day they visited.

I remember the day when my life was finished well.

There were quite a lot of “caretakers” visited my room on that day.

Not only those who are in charge of housekeeping but also people who protect my parents, came to my room.

It is the elderly man who is the head of the “caretaker” who brought in many “caretakers”.

His name is Haregi.

Haregi-san always wears a suit while the other caretakers were wearing kimono.

Today, as usual, he has spoken to me.


“Young lord, can you come over here?” (Haregi) (お坊っちゃま: O bōtchama = how servant calls a young lord)

“Do you mind if I change my clothes? As you can see, I’m awfully sleepy, I’m still in bed clothes.” (Ginji/Arge)

“No. Go as you are without holding back anything.” (Haregi)

“Okay, I understand.” (Ginji/Arge)


While I felt a sense of incompetence in my bed’s temperature, I hopped out of it. (ED DeathDrayanD: Changed ‘went’ to ‘hopped’) 

It was a bit strange that everyone is watching me with caution, so I laughed a little. 

I understood the meaning of why they came here.

So even if I do not look like that, I will not run away.

I followed them, saying, “I’m all right,” to the followers who have strange faces.

The surroundings are protected by strong guards, or they are blocked, and they were taking me to a room that I have never been in.

It’s like I’m escorted by them rather than following them.

I knew this place.

It is because it was a place that anyone could enter, anyone who was treated as ‘human beings’.

It was my first time to step in, but I knew about this place for a long time.

This was a “garbage dumping place”.

When a Kuon’s family child has reached a certain age and was still ‘un-usable’, they will be kept here forever.

… It is normal.

Underneath the mansion, that room separated by iron grates was a space that seemed to be unexpectedly comfortable.

Because I had never seen it before, I thought how bad the environment is, but it is more ordinary space than I imagined. 

There are chairs and desks, and beds are placed.

There were items that look like cooking areas in the back.

Flooring is flooring, walls are white wallpaper.

Perhaps this room is more comfortable than my room.

That was the evaluation I gave when I saw the scenery behind the iron gates at that time. 


“Is there a bath and a toilet?” (Ginji/Arge)

“Of course.” (Haregi)


Haregi-san takes out the key ring from his bosom and opened the door of the iron gates. 

It is not similar to the ordinary scenery that lies ahead, there was a high sound that the metal rubbed. 

While my face frowns with annoying sounds, Haregi-san opens the door and gives me a word of encouragement.


“Please, get in young lord.” (Haregi)


The size of the entrance is enough to pass without having to lower my head. I entered inside as prompted.


“If you need something, please tell us.” (Haregi)

“Yes, I understand” (Ginji/Arge)

“… Young Lord, are not you wondering?” (Haregi)

“About what?” (Ginji/Arge)

“About the treatment that you are receiving. That is ‘dead’ now, why are you still calm?” (Haregi)


Until I came here, Haregi-san, who was doing business with an expressionless face more than usual, was distorted. 

It was not a question of hate and anger that came to Haregi-san’s face. 

On the other hand, it was easy for me to answer. 

It was just one word.


“Because it is the Kuon’s family.” (Ginji/Arge)

“……Is that it?” (Haregi)

“Yes, are there no people in doubt about throwing away things that you cannot use?” (Ginji/Arge)

“Your parents don’t see you off or say anything, just ‘kill’ you!?
And you accept it without even expressing it, what kind of child are you!?
Until now, there was not such a child in Kuon’s family!
So I… this is how they…!” (Haregi)

“You brought a lot of guards so that I can not run away?” (Ginji/Arge)


Everything was understood. 

I wonder what would become of people who can not do anything like me, what kind of reactions the taken people who have been here before.

Everyone at the Kuon’s family did not give anything to what they would throw away.

Because I know everything, I have no surprises, anger, no sorrow.

I know that resistance is in vain. I also know not to cover it.

Because I know that myself, “I can not become a part of the Kuon’s family”.

That’s why it seems wonderful for Haregi-san to have a doubt expression.

Until now, other children have made meaningless resistance.

And still, for the one who took us “defective items” here felt strange.


“It’s all about understanding, isn’t it okay to just accept it?” (Ginji/Arge)

“… …!” (Haregi)


At that time, I still remembered that the line of sight directed to me obviously changed from me. 

Because the fear has filled the doubt that came up to that point in an instant.


“… Maybe you are the most damaged one in the house of Kuon, aren’t you?” (Haregi)

“Well, I think it was because I was broken and I could not be of use, so I was sent here.” (Ginji/Arge)

“In that sense …… No, let’s stop it … I got frightened by the young lord, in a sense, even more than the family’s head so I will leave it here.” (Haregi)


Kachan (SFX) and the door was closed and locked immediately. 

While listening to a lot of footsteps going away, I thought about the future.

I do not need to learn anymore, I do not need to study.

Nothing to do as an obligation has disappeared.

Because I am already a ‘dead’ child.


“… for now, should I try to sleep?” (Ginji/Arge)


I did not come up with things to do, I decided to take a nap.

…… Do I have any hobbies?

While sinking my body in the bed, I closed my eyes considering such a thing.

My consciousness of my dream ends, and my consciousness of reality comes to mind. Along with the end of my dreams, my memory went down.

Flan 10
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Translator Corner

ED DeathDrayanD: Arge-chan’s backstory is so sad… No wonder she’s like this. 😦


  1. Well, that’s pretty dark. quite fitting for the present character who is a vampire. (In a good kind of way)


    • No, judging from offhand comments he has made before, like being able to remember anything he has seen or heard whether he was paying attention or not, he was likely excellent but either didn’t realize it himself, hid it, or the family feared him and declared him unusable leading him to misunderstand his situation. Knowing that he was determined unusable, he convinced himself that all he cares about is sleeping, since he knew he would be imprisoned for life.


  2. Weird, novelupdates didn’t have chapter 44 so I was surprised when there was a next chapter button here.


  3. … so its her Family Fault that she become like that…..
    and the MC is Rationalist…. why struggle… think a child can win against a Family and Guards…. just accept it and it less hurt….
    her family wants perfect child…. not perfect = trash….
    this is why MC “effortless” because in her past life…. no matter what effort you do…. when you already declared “Trash” then all your effort is meaningless in front of them…
    so… why bother to do it… just sleeps and she can “free” from the pain of her life….

    damn sad…. despite everything she going through…. she still have her humanity….
    what that family see is broken “doll”… but in others eyes is a treasure “child”….. its all about perspective

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ah, I know that feel and similarities of the past…which means the MC’s ‘rational’ mindset…might actually be a form of self-defense, more specifically ‘damage control’. It really hits close to home though.

    Thanks for the translations~! Found it today~!

    Liked by 1 person

    • yeah right i don’t know why did the MC says that Kuon sounds like a boy’s name even though it is a good name for girls too [i think its when he think of different name to give to a peddler on the start of the novel (i’m too lazy to remember male’s name in this kind of shoujo ai novel)]


  5. Thanks for chapter.
    Arge past family is too dark. I glad for Arge reincarnated to different world, because she can meet many people other than her “broken” family. It also good for Arge have many strong skill but not look down other people. In this chapter Arge is called “broken” but the one who “broken” is her family.


  6. This explains her attitude, but I bet it will change the more she gets into contact with her cheery and supportive friends.

    Am I weird for thinking that he was pretty lucky in a sense? Seen many novels and other things with way darker pasts, such as getting experimented on for similar reasons and suffering through pain endlessly every day, while this mc was allowed to do whatever he wants down there and it seems he was supplied with things to do, too. I’d say it’s horrible but still pretty good since it could’ve been so much worse…

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I am the only one who noticed that his family marries within the same blood? So the entire family seems to be… inbred? That would also explain his lack of motivation and acceptance due to a weird mutation or deformity.


    • Not really.
      They can marry outside but they must live in the family can’t seperate. The child was born will only have half of Kuon Blood.
      They only don’t allow Kuon blood spread out that why they imprison him and treat him like a failure product.
      People come to meet him is his relates and cousin not his parent and blood siblings.


      • I see. I saw the term sanguinarious (or whatever XD) marriage, so I figured they were inbreeding to keep the blood pure.


        • They don’t need pure blood, they need genius or excellent that born Kuon Blood (even only half or quarter)
          Pure Kuon Blood but only good grade, like jack of all trade, are trash, failure to them.


  8. So this chapter explains the Kuon family “tradition” of “disposing” family members that do not “excel” in any field. “Average” is deemed “Unacceptable” and if they stay like that until a certain “Age” is reached, the “Family” labels the person as “Dead”. I think The Haregi guy saw what our MC really “excel” at, but fears for his job and life if he refute it. MC commented that he’s more studier than most of his family members, (he got weaker by ‘lazing around’ though). Thanks for the chapter.


    • No, he was only “good” at a few thing (like about 80/100 points)
      But he isn’t “excel” in anything 120/100 point.
      They only need excel people. Everyone else is consider dead.
      MC becomes lazy after get imprisoned. He wasn’t “excel” at anything in begin with.


      • I see, so our MC’s laziness is due to prolonged imprisonment, an after-effect of being discarded by his previous life’s family. He’s not born lazy, he became lazy. Makes me wonder how many years he was in there before he “died”.


  9. Am I the only one envious of his treatment? I wish people would lock me in a room, and feed me for free…. but I refuse to commit a crime(or take any of the other risks associated with the prison system).


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