Chapter 44: The boy’s feelings.
When my consciousness started to fade, I had a dream.
It was a memory of my past life. I will experience what I’ve done again, in the form of a dream.
The house where I was born has always produced excellent people.
Exercise, science, medicine, politics, economics, education, archeology…
Anyway, a house that has always sent people to the top.
That is Kuon’s family.
Kuon’s family is moving the world.
Recognition in the world. It is the world.
That’s where I lived.
And Kuon was a house that did not accept anything other than “excellent”.
There are only two things that are ‘excellent’ or ‘unusable’.
It was only those ‘excellent’ ones that are being recognized as human beings; the others were not.
And I am a member of Kuon’s family, a human being never called ‘excellent’.
Whether you are ‘excellent’ or ‘unusable’, the family will still allow you to live normally when you are still a child.
It’s not that I’m bad at anything, actually I’m quite good at it, but of course, I’m not ‘excellent’ at anything.
I was like that. If there is something that is superior, that was my robust body in the Kuon family who are all merely consanguineous marriage and have a weak constitution.
Move your body, sit down and learn.
There is no excess and deficiency in anything.
It was early for my parents to give up on such a child like me.
That last day they visited.
I remember the day when my life was finished well.
There were quite a lot of “caretakers” visited my room on that day.
Not only those who are in charge of housekeeping but also people who protect my parents, came to my room.
It is the elderly man who is the head of the “caretaker” who brought in many “caretakers”.
His name is Haregi.
Haregi-san always wears a suit while the other caretakers were wearing kimono.
Today, as usual, he has spoken to me.
“Young lord, can you come over here?” (Haregi) (お坊っちゃま: O bōtchama = how servant calls a young lord)
“Do you mind if I change my clothes? As you can see, I’m awfully sleepy, I’m still in bed clothes.” (Ginji/Arge)
“No. Go as you are without holding back anything.” (Haregi)
“Okay, I understand.” (Ginji/Arge)
While I felt a sense of incompetence in my bed’s temperature, I hopped out of it. (ED DeathDrayanD: Changed ‘went’ to ‘hopped’)
It was a bit strange that everyone is watching me with caution, so I laughed a little.
I understood the meaning of why they came here.
So even if I do not look like that, I will not run away.
I followed them, saying, “I’m all right,” to the followers who have strange faces.
The surroundings are protected by strong guards, or they are blocked, and they were taking me to a room that I have never been in.
It’s like I’m escorted by them rather than following them.
I knew this place.
It is because it was a place that anyone could enter, anyone who was treated as ‘human beings’.
It was my first time to step in, but I knew about this place for a long time.
This was a “garbage dumping place”.
When a Kuon’s family child has reached a certain age and was still ‘un-usable’, they will be kept here forever.
… It is normal.
Underneath the mansion, that room separated by iron grates was a space that seemed to be unexpectedly comfortable.
Because I had never seen it before, I thought how bad the environment is, but it is more ordinary space than I imagined.
There are chairs and desks, and beds are placed.
There were items that look like cooking areas in the back.
Flooring is flooring, walls are white wallpaper.
Perhaps this room is more comfortable than my room.
That was the evaluation I gave when I saw the scenery behind the iron gates at that time.
“Is there a bath and a toilet?” (Ginji/Arge)
“Of course.” (Haregi)
Haregi-san takes out the key ring from his bosom and opened the door of the iron gates.
It is not similar to the ordinary scenery that lies ahead, there was a high sound that the metal rubbed.
While my face frowns with annoying sounds, Haregi-san opens the door and gives me a word of encouragement.
“Please, get in young lord.” (Haregi)
The size of the entrance is enough to pass without having to lower my head. I entered inside as prompted.
“If you need something, please tell us.” (Haregi)
“Yes, I understand” (Ginji/Arge)
“… Young Lord, are not you wondering?” (Haregi)
“About what?” (Ginji/Arge)
“About the treatment that you are receiving. That is ‘dead’ now, why are you still calm?” (Haregi)
Until I came here, Haregi-san, who was doing business with an expressionless face more than usual, was distorted.
It was not a question of hate and anger that came to Haregi-san’s face.
On the other hand, it was easy for me to answer.
It was just one word.
“Because it is the Kuon’s family.” (Ginji/Arge)
“……Is that it?” (Haregi)
“Yes, are there no people in doubt about throwing away things that you cannot use?” (Ginji/Arge)
“Your parents don’t see you off or say anything, just ‘kill’ you!?
And you accept it without even expressing it, what kind of child are you!?
Until now, there was not such a child in Kuon’s family!
So I… this is how they…!” (Haregi)
“You brought a lot of guards so that I can not run away?” (Ginji/Arge)
Everything was understood.
I wonder what would become of people who can not do anything like me, what kind of reactions the taken people who have been here before.
Everyone at the Kuon’s family did not give anything to what they would throw away.
Because I know everything, I have no surprises, anger, no sorrow.
I know that resistance is in vain. I also know not to cover it.
Because I know that myself, “I can not become a part of the Kuon’s family”.
That’s why it seems wonderful for Haregi-san to have a doubt expression.
Until now, other children have made meaningless resistance.
And still, for the one who took us “defective items” here felt strange.
“It’s all about understanding, isn’t it okay to just accept it?” (Ginji/Arge)
“… …!” (Haregi)
At that time, I still remembered that the line of sight directed to me obviously changed from me.
Because the fear has filled the doubt that came up to that point in an instant.
“… Maybe you are the most damaged one in the house of Kuon, aren’t you?” (Haregi)
“Well, I think it was because I was broken and I could not be of use, so I was sent here.” (Ginji/Arge)
“In that sense …… No, let’s stop it … I got frightened by the young lord, in a sense, even more than the family’s head so I will leave it here.” (Haregi)
Kachan (SFX) and the door was closed and locked immediately.
While listening to a lot of footsteps going away, I thought about the future.
I do not need to learn anymore, I do not need to study.
Nothing to do as an obligation has disappeared.
Because I am already a ‘dead’ child.
“… for now, should I try to sleep?” (Ginji/Arge)
I did not come up with things to do, I decided to take a nap.
…… Do I have any hobbies?
While sinking my body in the bed, I closed my eyes considering such a thing.
My consciousness of my dream ends, and my consciousness of reality comes to mind. Along with the end of my dreams, my memory went down.
ED DeathDrayanD: Arge-chan’s backstory is so sad… No wonder she’s like this. 😦