Grammar notes
Note: not an English teacher so my reasons are just best guesses
Page 3:
show any respect or {gets} -> {get} tense
Clippy notes: gets is future tense get is present
Page 4:
He has the eyes of a hunter {} ->{that} aims for {the} → {his} prey when he puts his hand on {that} → {the} bag.
Clippy notes: First part is a missing linking word, linking hunter and prey. Second one is a localization as ownership implies a more hostile tone in this case.
If the marquis dies {} ->{here} {}→{,} by the bolts in confusion{}→{,}
Clippy notes: double commas imply that the contents within are an explanatory point, here they are being user to contrast with the other way he could die.
Page 20:
I will prepare {,}→{} an invincible
Clippy notes: the the second clause has no action to it and thus cannot be separated by a comma.
Localization notes
Page 4:
{Misfire} → {miss with}
Clippy notes: a missfire is when the gun does not fire properly.
Page 8:
{mis-shots} → {missed shots}
Page 16:
{Humans life} → {People’s lives}
page 19:
{I will} → {I’ll} show you
Clippy notes: More true to idiom this way
Page 21:
{“hell”} → {hell}
Clippy notes: Quotation marks are used in the previous line because the word itself is the noun. Here hell is a metaphor and directly used as a noun.
Thank you very much.
And if you don’t mind, would you please check again that the fixed version of chapter 28 and 29 to see if they are okay to upload to other sites yet.
I want to share this manga but I would hate to get more insults again.
OK that is finished, there is some issues I can’t fix, but they are minor, messy and might be due to the fundamentals of translating without a compete rewrite.
Also the forward links from chapter 16-23 are absent.
Do you want me to quality check your chapters before you release?
I’ll do it whenever I can and I’ll try and be as fast as possible. All I want is that you either mention me as QC at the end, and/or prefferably that the release be marked as a joint release with allexio scans when uploaded on mangadex x)
I’m not going to pretend that my english is perfect but it would be a lot better than what you have right now when you do the initial release. feel free to contact me on mangadex @allexio or on discord @allexio#0001. You can also check out the other series I’m working on to see if my english level is to your liking.
Second pass:
Page 4:
He has the eyes {like} -> {of} a hunter
Clippy notes: I think a metaphor is more appropriate here, as the man is effective a hunter
Page 17:
I can’t protect {my important people} → {people important to me}
Clippy notes: The first version implies she owns those people, I don’t think she is ok with owning people.
Page 18:
I quit. I have {} -> {had} enough
(Given the title of the novel I don’t think she will ever have enough)
I forbid them to upload the chapter until it gets fixed properly.
Honestly, I still waited for Guest_edit back then, chapter 27 was just a draft and they always uploaded it.
And about 50% of comments are insulting me.
Thanks fern the chap
LikeLiked by 1 person
suggestion:
page 2:
messenger’s bubble not translated
page 16:
i was afraid it might affect the {developing}->{development} of this world.
page 20:
from tomorrow evening, please do not put anything in the courtyard and {ask people not to enter}->{restrict people from entering there}.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heeee she lost it 🤣
LikeLiked by 3 people
And the insanity begins.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thx once again for the chapter!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this arc
LikeLike
ah wow. Caught up in just some hours. Well, it’s just me resisting the full course marathon in reading though.
btw, thank you for this chapter. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grammar notes
Note: not an English teacher so my reasons are just best guesses
Page 3:
show any respect or {gets} -> {get} tense
Clippy notes: gets is future tense get is present
Page 4:
He has the eyes of a hunter {} ->{that} aims for {the} → {his} prey when he puts his hand on {that} → {the} bag.
Clippy notes: First part is a missing linking word, linking hunter and prey. Second one is a localization as ownership implies a more hostile tone in this case.
If the marquis dies {} ->{here} {}→{,} by the bolts in confusion{}→{,}
Clippy notes: double commas imply that the contents within are an explanatory point, here they are being user to contrast with the other way he could die.
Page 20:
I will prepare {,}→{} an invincible
Clippy notes: the the second clause has no action to it and thus cannot be separated by a comma.
Localization notes
Page 4:
{Misfire} → {miss with}
Clippy notes: a missfire is when the gun does not fire properly.
Page 8:
{mis-shots} → {missed shots}
Page 16:
{Humans life} → {People’s lives}
page 19:
{I will} → {I’ll} show you
Clippy notes: More true to idiom this way
Page 21:
{“hell”} → {hell}
Clippy notes: Quotation marks are used in the previous line because the word itself is the noun. Here hell is a metaphor and directly used as a noun.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you very much.
And if you don’t mind, would you please check again that the fixed version of chapter 28 and 29 to see if they are okay to upload to other sites yet.
I want to share this manga but I would hate to get more insults again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure
LikeLiked by 1 person
OK that is finished, there is some issues I can’t fix, but they are minor, messy and might be due to the fundamentals of translating without a compete rewrite.
Also the forward links from chapter 16-23 are absent.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Do you want me to quality check your chapters before you release?
I’ll do it whenever I can and I’ll try and be as fast as possible. All I want is that you either mention me as QC at the end, and/or prefferably that the release be marked as a joint release with allexio scans when uploaded on mangadex x)
I’m not going to pretend that my english is perfect but it would be a lot better than what you have right now when you do the initial release. feel free to contact me on mangadex @allexio or on discord @allexio#0001. You can also check out the other series I’m working on to see if my english level is to your liking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dun Dun DUN!!!! and now it starts!
Thank you for the chapter!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Only cliff can stop her now
LikeLiked by 1 person
ummm, I think she will bring her mercenaries to go war.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I assume someone has read the novel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope, I didn’t read it. I just guess form she said “Invisible Army”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Second pass:
Page 4:
He has the eyes {like} -> {of} a hunter
Clippy notes: I think a metaphor is more appropriate here, as the man is effective a hunter
Page 17:
I can’t protect {my important people} → {people important to me}
Clippy notes: The first version implies she owns those people, I don’t think she is ok with owning people.
Page 18:
I quit. I have {} -> {had} enough
(Given the title of the novel I don’t think she will ever have enough)
LikeLiked by 2 people
She lost it … didn’t she ? xD
Supply prepared , resolve steeled , begin EXTERMINATION ;D
LikeLiked by 1 person
No one has posted this manga on mangadex, although it is here since yesterday.
You did not have a fight with them or something?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I forbid them to upload the chapter until it gets fixed properly.
Honestly, I still waited for Guest_edit back then, chapter 27 was just a draft and they always uploaded it.
And about 50% of comments are insulting me.
It’s new year and they alwayd did it.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I like the different expressions of Mitshua.
Thanks for the chapter!
LikeLiked by 1 person