Fia Chapter 4

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16 comments

  1. Thanks, at the end i didnt feel like a Mile chapter and fells more like “Abandoned Empress” (manhwa)

    Like

  2. (Sorry for late comment was busy with a assignment)

    Page 3
    Typo it says it instead of he

    Page 7
    Needs instead of need
    it’s a little confusing when he says “the captain only needS to deal with the occurred problem” I think it must mean either the captain only needs to deal with problems that have occurred, if its past tense (this well making grammatical sense obviously doesn’t make practical sense, if he’s a leader) or the more likely, the captain only needs to deal with problems that are occurring (which would be present sense and make complete sense)

    Page 11
    The 2nd we is unneeded
    Should be defeat not defeating (defeating is present tense aka doing it right then, defeated past tense and defeat usually future tense but sometimes can be present tense)
    The a between as and training is unneeded (unless the sentence was ending with exercise or something similar)
    For the last use of knight, knights would make more sense, in this case the final “the” would be unneeded but not incorrect

    Page 12
    should be lookS like youR havING fun
    In the final speech box is instead of was would be better but it’s not technically incorrect

    Page 17
    Should be it appearED and then the “it’s” would be unneeded but again not really incorrect (English is wacky huh)

    Page 18
    Should be defeated (as they have done it so past tense)

    Page 25
    Should be didn’t not don’t as it’s past tense (don’t is for both present and future tense only)
    Should be kept not keep as past tense ( keep has same rules as don’t, past and present tense only)
    “To make sure everyone can survive” could be interpreted as either present or future tense but not past, for past tense it should be could survive, or simply to make sure everyone surviveD without the can

    Page 32

    She knows what it is so she probably knows a little about them, if she’s saying “it must be” that would suggest she’s making a deduction rather then knowing out right, if she’s talking about somethings she knows she should say “it’s a endemic/native (explained below) species” instead

    You’re potentially not wrong here but native and endemic are often confused so just in case here’s definitions in biological terms (native has a different meaning when applied to people), native means something (a form of LIFE) is naturally found somewhere aka people didn’t intentionally or unintentionally bring it there, well endemic means that it is native but that it’s also naturally found nowhere else, for example dudong are native to japan but also found elsewhere so are only native well the Japanese wolf was endemic because it was found nowhere else.

    Should be liveS not live
    In a place like this would be better then “in places like this”

    The “is” is in the wrong place it should be “it saw who the leader is” instead

    Page 33

    should be I’ve seen rather then I saw, saw is exclusively past tense (seen is usually also past tense as well but it can sometimes be present tense like here) when to use I’ve or I is kind of complicated to explain but here it should be I’ve

    The had is unneeded

    the word numbers should be inserted between “countless” and “of”

    Should be accompanying instead the accompany

    The next bit depends on whether or not she switched to talking about the present after the word “but” or if she’s still talking about the past, if still past tense then didn’t instead of don’t again, if present tense the “the” should be removed

    Page 34

    Chase instead of chases

    Liked by 1 person

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